Dear God, surround me as I speak, the bridges that I walk across are weak Frustrations fill the void that I can't solely bear Dear God, don't let me fall apart, you've held me close to you I have turned away and searched for answers I can't understand. sometimes i feel my spritual walk with God is a like a rollercoaster.it always reaches a peak n den comes spiralling down.i'm never satisfied with what He has blessed me with. like being in mj,i tink maybe i cld have done better,maybe i wld have more fun n be happier if i were in sa,or ac, or vj, blatantly ignoring the fact i prayed about this whole decision,and was kinda sure mj would be the best choice for me. i prayed for it to be His choice, but yet sometimes cant help but think maybe i would have been better off in another jc,without realising my arrogance in doubting God's decision. there always something more i'm wishing for. i see others in other jcs having the time of their lives,living out the jc life i tot i would have lived,and then start to question God. i drift away,searching for the answers,filling up that void in my life with other senseless things. i nd help i tink. n on to the topic of my faith.catholic or christian? i realli do like attending new creation church,no doubt ive gained a better understanding of God n His love,but yet im not comfortable in dat church amongst the people. i feel like an outsider,i dun feel like i truly belong.maybe its also because i dun realli wana belong.i miss the traditions of the catholic church,the familiarity of everyone,the eurasian-ness i get from it.its like an identity u noe?thats not saying not being a catholic makes u any less eurasian.but there's so many eurasians in the catholic church,that i feel so comfortable there. n YET i dun agree with all the teachings of the catholic church. n dats a personal preference.im not judging it or anything. i noe some ppl who have a closer r/ship with Christ through the Catholic faith,and i also know ppl who have the same close r/ship thru following the Christian faith. but personally,i know ive grown closer to the Lord thru going to NCC. but part of me still longs for the Catholic traditions. i'm so confused,and truth is ive been prolonging the decision of choosing which church to belong to.ppl ask,wat are u?and i say "umm,catholic?but ive been going to a Christian chuch the past 2 yrs" and then smile.hahah..n i dun tink im any closer to choosing since last yr.
They say that I can move the mountains And send them falling to the sea They say that I can walk on water If I would follow and believe with faith like a child i wished i had that type of faith.
12:28:00 pm
riane*
*riane brittany francisco *born on the 1st of july 1989 *eurasian *i believe in Christ *ex-tkgian *4e7'05 *ex-SAJCian of 06S18 *MJC now! 06S302
*loves
~God! ~mr.princess ~dots ~salt ~mr.snowy who has gone home to be with the Lord ~glitter ~pedicures,manicures! ~beautiful beaches ~animals ~friends ~daydreams ~fun
Soul Music*
at the moment the song i'm in love with:
Gwen Stefani- the Sweet Escape
Jimmy Eat World- The Middle
ya i noe this one's old,but its the one keeping me going at the moment =)
you're currently listening to
and i'm lusting after
*that pretty white camera
*a new phone that sony ericsson cyber-shot one
*a room makeover
*a whole new glam wardrobe.
